Authoritarian Parenting Style: Everything You Need to Know

For the authoritarian parent, there are high demands put in place, with low responsiveness and warmth displayed towards these kids. A strong emphasis is placed on compliance to set rules and the enforcement of “good” behavior via shaming, unclear retribution, or even threats. The authoritarian parenting style features unforgiving parents who most times seem indifferent about the lives of their kids.

For children raised by authoritarian parents, shyness and low self-esteem are very commonly found characteristics. They are also less prone to have appreciable social skills or stand their ground. When they hesitantly make their own decisions, the results are often below satisfactory because they haven’t experienced many personal decision-making situations.  Again, some of these children may act belligerently when out of their homes.

The authoritarian approach demonstrates the most controlling parenting style. Here’re some common characteristics of authoritarian parents.

·         Authoritarian parents establish lots of rules and may micromanage almost all aspects of their kids’ behaviors and lives, in public and at home. Also, they’ve many unwritten rules that children are expected to follow, even though kids receive little to no explicit instruction about these rules. Rather, kids are simply expected to understand that these rules exist.

·         These parents often seem aloof, cold, and harsh. They’re more likely to nag or yell at their kids than offer praise and encouragement. They value discipline over enjoyment and expect that kids should be seen, not heard.

·         Authoritarian parents generally don’t have any problem to resorting to corporal punishment. Instead of depending on positive reinforcement, they react harshly when rules are broken.

·         These parents don’t trust their kids to make good choices. They don’t give their kids much freedom to prove that they can demonstrate good behavior. Instead of letting children make decisions on their own and deal with natural consequences for their choices, authoritarian parents hover over their children to ensure they don’t make mistakes.

·         Authoritarian parents lack the patience for explaining why their kids should avoid undesirable behaviors. They also don’t expend much energy talking about feelings.

·         These parents don’t believe in gray areas. They perceive situations as black and white, and there’s no room for compromise. Children don’t vote or get a say when it comes to making decisions or setting rules.

·         Authoritarian parents can be extremely critical and may use shaming as a tactic to force kids into following the rules. Instead of looking for ways to develop their kids’ self-esteem, these parents usually believe that shaming will motivate kids to do better.

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