Funny Wedding Wishes, Messages and Quotes

When you’re getting married, it’s important to have fun with your wedding wishes and messages. Here are some funny wedding wishes, quotes and messages to help you get started!

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck

“Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life! Wives want both!”

“This is what I have to say to you. You are a very brave soul who will endure the marriage life and become better than all of us. Godspeed my friend. We got your back.”

“Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will ‘be mad at each other as well.”

“When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip

“Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s degree.”

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” – James Holt McGavran

“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” – Groucho Marx

“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it isn’t so hot.” – Minnie Pearl

“Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.” – Elbert Hubbard

“Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” – Lyndon B. Johnson

“Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations.”

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